People Problems In Siberia

Written by George Balarezo, Intrepid Global Citizen

When on the road I typically carry no electronic devices except for my camera. I opt to leave my South Korean 2G phone at home and go completely off the grid. Of course the need for communication arises occasionally and my third evening in Irkutsk I found myself at an Internet cafe in order to inform my family of my safe arrival in Russia. The cafe manager was a straight forward guy who did not care about anything other than getting his 30 rubles (50 cents) from me. I had absolutely no problem paying him in order to help his business out financially. I tried to make simple conversation with him using my survival Russian skills, but he was not impressed and showed no interest in the North American guy hacking his language into tiny pieces. The scowl on his face said it all. I quickly took my seat and headed to my computer.

A guy named Nikolay sat next to me started talking to me in English. “Contact me if you need anything at all while you are in Irkustk. I am happy to help you,” he offered as he kindly wrote down his phone number. “By the way, have you seen the manager of this Internet cafe?” he asked. I looked around and saw the guy who matter of factly collected my 30 rubles outside working on his car. “There he is outside,” I replied while pointing in the man’s direction.

All of a sudden a volcano eruption started. The manager started shouting in my direction and I had no idea what he was saying. The man was ready to tear my head off. His quick trigger personality and defined shoulder muscles were more than intimidating. Nikolay calmly started to translate. “He said do not ever point at him again. He does not seem to like you very much,” Nikolay said. “Okay. Tell him I did not mean to offend him and I am sorry to hear he is upset,” I said trying to smooth things over. After all, I consider myself to be a cultural ambassador and did not want this man’s anger to get the best of me. The last thing I needed was to get beat up during the first few days of my trip.

My heart started to pound and I felt like I desperately needed to take action to resolve this dilemma. The man stomped in his cafe and continued to silently fume in anger. I turned to Nickolay and quickly realized I needed his translation skills to quickly smooth this one over. “Tell him I really like his cafe and want to come back again tomorrow. The Internet speed is great and computers are very well maintained. Please write down the address of your cafe in Russian so I can find this place again easily,” I said. Nickolay was happy to help me out and swiftly relayed the message to the cafe owner. The rough attitude and scowl instantly turned to one of neutrality as the man jotted down the cafe address. I knew I had smoothed things over but needed one last translation from Nickolay before leaving. “Thanks to his cafe I was able to contact my friends and family to let them know about Irkutsk’s beauty,” I said. The man finally looked at me in the eyes with the same neutral glare. “Harashow,” he said, meaning “good” in Russian.

I walked out of the cafe that day feeling like I was victorious just for avoiding a potentially necessary violent confrontation. One of my missions for traveling to distant lands is to spread peace with my fellow global citizens. All the best to the cafe owner and hopefully he will find enough inner peace within himself to muster up a smile one day.

Reflection- Seek to Understand Others

This man confirmed all the Russian stereotypes I had etched in my head for so long. Cranky, confrontational and looking for any excuse to fight a guy like me, the Internet cafe owner was not an easy guy to deal with. I was positive I would meet someone who confirmed all of my stereotypes sooner or later. Although my interaction with this man was unpleasant, I decided to use it as a learning experience. There had to be an explanation for his terrible attitude. Why did this negative stereotype exist anyway? I was determined to understand his kind as I was well aware that I would be spending a lot of time in Russia and this was just the beginning of my journey. Certainly I would encounter more unhelpful, cranky people along the way and this man’s actions served as the motivational driving force behind my curiosity and thirst for deeper understanding.

Why are Russian people known for their frowns and not their smiles? I decided to dig into this topic and stumbled into a research article in the Journal of Nonverbal Behavior by Polish psychologist Kuba Krys whose work focuses on a concept called uncertainty avoidance, which describes a culture’s tolerance for ambiguity and uncertainty. Cultures that are low on this scale have few safety nets, unstable health care and courts. Accordingly, people in these countries may view their future as uncontrollable or unstable. To test her hypothesis, Krys had people from 44 different countries rate smiling and frowning faces using criterion such as intelligence and honesty. According to Krys’ research, as societies become more corrupt or unstable, it becomes harder to decipher peoples’ true intentions- people could be trying to trick you or else they could be displaying a warm, kind gesture. Therefore, a smile may be regarded as a confident signal of hostility, duplicity or ignorance in low uncertainty avoidance scoring countries.

It is also worth noting that there have been other studies done, which concluded that correlations exist between how hierarchical or masculine a society is and the likelihood to greet others with a smile. Also, some cultures do not value happiness as highly as others, which can aid to further explain why it is hard for some to break into a grin.

In Russia’s case, taking a good look at history may provide further explanation. Untold millions of people died during the Soviet Union during the 20th century due to war, starvation and imprisonment in Gulags, which may all be contributing factors to a rather somber national mood.

In the winter it gets down to negative 40 Celsius, temperatures so frigid that one’s limbs can fall off due to frost bite and the sun makes its appearance for only a few hours during most of the year.

I remembered my days working in Detroit during the winter. The sun would finally make its appearance when it was time for me to head into the office until 5 or 6PM. It was often very dark by the time I went home for the day. Staring at a computer all day long combined with a shortage of sunlight severely effected my mood. Depression set in and the only way I was able to overcome my negativity was through vigorous exercise, which I did religiously during my dreary years at the Detroit office. If not for my exercise routine and social connections I had during that time in my life, I probably would have been ready to tear someone’s cranium right off their spine, just like the Russian man I met in Irkutsk.

All of the above reasons could be an incorrect logical explanation for the behavior I witnesses that day in Irkutsk. I only spent a few weeks in Russia and admit it is nearly impossible to understand the national psyche during such a short visit. Anyway, it is always better to pause and seek to understand others more deeply before jumping to conclusions.

Siberian Stereotype Breakers

Date- September 20, 2018

Written by George Balarezo, Intrepid Global Citizen

Stereotypes were all I had! Vodka drinking, ballet dancing, fat men hunting wild game in the cold, stone faced people with no expressions on their faces and frigid temperatures. This was the Siberia I had always imagined through a media influenced portrait.

Several friends in South Korea who visited Russia in the past all told me the same thing. “It is a beautiful place but people there do not smile and look a bit depressed,” they stated. Was this the Russia that lay waiting for me? I was ready to investigate matters for myself.

Before leaving on my trip, I did my share of cultural research. Several Russian Youtubers all had the same advice for visitors to their country-

Do not smile at strangers for no reason. People will think you are strange. If there is no reason to smile, do not do it.
Do not give anyone an even number of flowers. This is bad luck and could result in your Russian boyfriend or girlfriend breaking up with you.
Take off your shoes when entering someone’s home.
Do not whistle around other people as this will cause you to lose money.

After living in East Asia for nearly ten years, I could completely understand the last three points. Even numbers are not looked at in a positive manner and one should never give even multiples of currency as a wedding gift in South Korea. The whistling rule was a bit different, but I can understand how my sub par skills could result in someone becoming annoyed with me very quickly.

Upon further investigation, the “no smiling at strangers” cultural tip seemed more serious than expected in more than just one way. According to BBC accounts, Russian film director Yulia Melamed was questioned by the police for smiling in public. “They said it looks out of place, alien and suspicious, so they thought I was up to something,” stated Melamed.

“Laughing for no reason is a sign of stupidity,” a Russian proverb states. The last thing I wanted was to be questioned by the police or viewed as stupid, so I practiced saying hello while frowning in Russian language over and over. “Previet,” I repeated to myself while staring at a foreign looking, angry version of myself in the mirror. No matter what I did, my mouth always pursed itself into a smile. “Is it so bad to be a happy person?” I thought to myself after I kept on failing at this simple endeavor. My motto has always been to do what the locals do in order to properly acclimate to the culture of my host country. The only thing to do was to keep on practicing and failing. I have never been a good actor and now I would have to act as serious as possible to fit in. What a grandiose challenge this would be.

The First Interaction

As soon as I arrived to Irkutsk, I assembled my bike and hit the streets to test the greeting skills I had practiced with so much vigor. How true was this piece of cultural advice anyway? Temperatures soared to 40 degrees Celsius (110 Fahrenheit- for all of you readers from the United States) and the sun scorched every minuscule amount of exposed skin on my body, but that did not stop me. I was ready to start my Russian adventure in this small Siberian town.

I spotted a kid riding his bicycle and decided to say hello. “Previet,” I said while making sure not to smile. The kid was about 16 years old and was excited to see me on a bike. “Can I help you?” he replied in English with a warm smile. I was utterly shocked at his English skills and willingness to assist me. I told him that I was simply riding around town and asked him for sight seeing recommendations. The boy’s eyes gleamed with excitement and insisted that he show me around town. Together we rode our bikes for several hours in the streets of Irkutsk. The boy explained in as much detail as he could about all of the landmarks in his hometown with a charming innocence and curiosity. “Do you like coins?” he inquired. He told me that one of his hobbies was collecting coins and led me to the market where the local salesman had a big case of shiny coins on display. He pulled out a 1,000 ruble bill and bought a nice looking gold and silver Russian collector’s edition coin. As I watched the transaction take place I couldn’t help but notice what a great taste in coins he had. He picked out the best looking one out of the collection and handed it to me. “My mother gave me this for spending money today, but I want to buy you this coin,” he told me as a big grin spread across his face.

What a nice gesture by this kid. I was so touched by his generosity and kindness toward a strange guy like me from the other side of the world. This was something I would have never expected to happen on my first day in Russia. It was getting late and he insisted we meet at my hostel the following day so he could introduce me to some restaurants that serve traditional Russian food. I asked him if he knew a good place to eat and he said he was not sure as he usually eats at home with his family. The boy promised to ask his mother and show me the next day where all the good spots are in the city. As promised, the next day he came with his bike to the hostel and we went to eat together. Mongolian food it was. He took me to a famous dumpling restaurant with huge gaudy paintings inside. What a nice time we had together. My young companion was sent to me to break all of the Russian stereotypes on my first few days in the country and he succeeded in doing so.

More Russian Hospitality

After experiencing kindness and generosity from my young friend, I assumed that he must have been a unique exception. Perhaps others in Irkutsk would react in a cold, impatient manner to a guy like me who could not speak the local language. The following day my young friend went out of town with his family so I was on my own once again in Irkutsk and test the waters.

My next task would be to find a spare tire to take with me on the road. Again I decided to ask for help from a local Siberian. This time a university student on a bike came to the rescue. “Previet,” I said once again with a smile this time. My efforts of frown faced greetings failed me and I reverted to my natural smiling state. Much to my surprise, the kid spoke very proficient English and a few minutes later two more of his friends on bicycles showed up to offer assistance. “We will help you find a tire. Don’t worry,” they said.

For the next three hours the four of us scoured the town looking for a tire that fit my wheel size. The word help was an extreme understatement. I was amazed by all of this unexpected Russian hospitality. They repeatedly said how happy they were to assist me during the tire search process. After finding a tire we all went out to dinner and the students showed me the correct way to eat Russian dumplings. They were all so amused and were excited to be there with me introducing a guy like me to their culture. To top it all off, the three college students insisted on picking up the tab. After living in the hierarchical Korean society for so long and being a professor, I felt obligated to pay for them. However, they wouldn’t have any of it and put up a good fight for the payment.

Once we finished eating it was close to 10PM and the sun was just starting to go down. Wow! Where did the time go? When you are being escorted around by hospitable Siberians the time just flies by. Next, they accompanied me back to my hostel and we said our goodbyes. More great people putting humanity on display. Now I know the truth about the Siberians for sure! My opinions changed in just three short days. Mission accomplished and stereotypes shattered!

Lessons Learned

Stereotypes Will Always Be Shattered

Our brain likes to keep things as simple as possible. It prefers the easy, smooth road over rough, rugged terrain just like anyone would. This is the main reason why stereotypes exist and are so strongly etched in our minds. It is much easier to draw conclusions about a group of people through things we hear from others or perceptions created by the mass media without thinking very deeply about them. No matter how unbiased, progressive or noble we try to be, our brains naturally revert to the things we have heard based on media portrayals or word of mouth. I was guilty of this as well.

People in my adopted country of South Korea always make quick conclusions about me, which can become annoying at times. Now I was guilty of the same behavior. Could I really fault the Koreans for asking me how I can eat with chopsticks and tolerate spicy food on a daily basis if I was guilty of having similar thoughts about Russians? I quickly learned how much of an imperfect person I am for making similar quick judgments about a group of people. The Koreans are influenced by their own set of preconceived notions just like I am. Even though I have several Russian friends whole smile all the time and are warm and friendly, the thoughts of frowning faces and vodka drinking all filled my mind, which was very different from what I experienced my first few days in Irkutsk.

The people I met the first few days in Russia served an important role as cultural ambassadors. My first impression of Siberians stayed with me throughout my trip and even though I experienced quite a few cranky and unhelpful people, I realized that the disgruntled are a minority just like in any other country in the world.

Always Be Your Authentic Self

In order to appease the Russians, I tried to change into a cold, frowning version of myself. There is nothing wrong with smiling and being happy. Should I really care if people think I am crazy or strange due to my inner peace and smiling outer appearance? Smiling is not a crime and even if the police questioned me for looking suspicious on the grounds of displaying my pearly whites while grinning, I would have been able to literally laugh it all off anyway. After all the effort I put into meditation and cultivating myself into a more complete global citizen everyday, I tried to undue my efforts to please others. This was a grave mistake. Even if the majority of locals think smiling travelers like myself are up to no good, there would surely be a few people who feel at ease when they see a smile on a fellow global citizen. In short, I do not have time to associate with people who take life so seriously and are constantly worried about the minute possibility that others may cheat them. You can’t be friends with everyone, and time is of the essence in life.

If I would have approached the local kid on the street with a frown on my face, things could have been very different. Perhaps he would have been less keen to ride his bike around with me and accompany a newbie to Russia like myself around town. He had a smile on his face just like I usually do and it was very disarming. One of my favorite quotes is by Emerson- “To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.” By watching a video I foolishly tried to change myself and tear down everything that I have achieved. It may seem innocent, but just as forced laughter can improve your emotional and psychological health, I am sure forced frowning can have detrimental effects on one’s well being as well. My thinking was too quick and shallow. Next time I will use better judgement. In our current world of information overload, knowing what to ignore in a powerful skill to cultivate.

Tag: Irkutsk Travel

Nearly Getting Beat Up In Irkutsk, Siberia